


I thought you were the one

by Mumzie001



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-14
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2020-03-04 21:40:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18821275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mumzie001/pseuds/Mumzie001
Summary: Tonight was the night two years in the making.  But what she found ripped out her soul.  What will she do now?





	1. chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Been a fan of fanfiction for years. Thought why not give it a go. Feel like a virgin, I am nervous excited and eager to know how I went. Please be gentle cheers M

Chapter 1

Clarke

My name is Clarke Angel Griffin. I am a homicde detective and the FBI have been trying to recruit me for a while for the BAU unit. I agreed, with Lexa's blessing, to attend a seminar to find out what life as a FBI agent would mean for me.

I couldn't wait to get home, I had been away nearly two weeks, two very long weeks. Lexa and I hadn't been apart that long since we first started dating, and I really missed my girl. I was coming home a day earlier than expected. You see I had a plan, I booked a table at Lexa's favourite restaurant, I had tickets to a show she's really been wanting to see and I finally had saved enough to buy the ring that was as beautiful as her.

I planned my arrival a little before she would be due home. Assuming she hadn't been called out to a scene. That's how we met Lexa was our Chief Medical Examiner. I decided to shower and keep my luggage in the spare room. I didn't want her knowing I was home until it was time for her to get ready. I had flowers sitting in water ready to give her and was sitting on the bed dressed in her favourite suit on me.

I heard footsteps coming up the stairs, but it wasn't one set it was two. I heard giggling and the sound of a body being pushed into the wall and then moaning and whispers. I couldn't move, I couldn't work out what was happening. She wouldn't, she loved me and I loved her. Ten minutes must have passed before I crack open the door and walked silently to our bedroom and looked inside. My heart just shattered, I couldn't believe what I saw. There on the bed was by best friend/partner fucking the love of my life. You would think that I would raise hell and drag Raven off the bed and beat her senseless, but I couldn't I was numb. How could the two people in my life I loved and trusted the most do this. How long has this been going on, was it recent or have I been naive this whole time. What did I do wrong, did she ever love me or was she just waiting for something better to come along. Someone like Raven who didn't have the baggage I did, didn't have the emotional and physcial scars I did.

I went back to the spare room and after what felt like hours the sounds they were making finally stopped, they must have fallen asleep. I washed my face and took off the suit, I just stood there staring at myself in the mirror. My tattoos and scars seemed to stand out so much more than usual. My tattoos were designed to hide some of my scars, bullet wounds, knife attacks and some were an ode to my loved ones.

I didn't sleep I just laid there thinking about what I was going to do, where I would go. I knew I wouldn't be able to stay in Boston, I couldn't watch Lexa be with someone else, especially my so called best friend.

Morning was here and Lexa and Raven made there way down to the kitchen, Raven asked Lexa if she had heard from me and when I was due home. She said she hadn't but sometime today I would be home. When they left I rang my Lieutenant, I asked her to meet with me in two hours at the local coffee shop but not to tell anyone especially Lexa or Raven. I went to the garage to get my saddle bags for my bike, I didn't pack much just some jeans, t shirts and underclothes. I could get anything else I needed on the road.  
I wrote a letter each to Lexa, Raven and my mum walked out to my bike took one last look at what was my home and left to meet Indra.

Indra was waiting when I arrived at the coffee shop, I ordered a coffee and sat down with her. I told her I was handing in my resignation effective immediatley and went to hand her my gun and badge. She looked at me with disbelief and flatly refused to accept it. She told me that she didn't know what was going on but I had more than enough time off owing that I could take six months before I would have to report to duty again and that she strongly suggested I do that, before making rash decisions. I agreed even knowing I would never come back. She wished me well and I left. I didn't really have a destination in mind I just wanted to get as far away from Boston and I could.


	2. chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa threw it all away on meaningless sex. Will Clarke ever forgive her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thankyou to everyone whom has made a comment. Nothing negative yet so I must be doing ok!

Chapter 2

Lexa

I have been trying to contact Clarke all day, but her phone is switched off, maybe she is in the air and on her way home. I hope she is ok. I pack up the rest of my things to make my way home. Its been a trying couple of weeks at the office, and quite frankly I could have handled it better.

We were called out to a vicious murder involving children, I hate the ones with kids it makes me so sad that their lives were taken away so young. They didn't get the opportunity to experience anything or to live their dreams. The detectives and I arrive and its one of the worst cases of child neglect and brutality I have ever experienced.  
We had finished processing the scene and were preparing the bodies for transport, when a man jumped out of the cupboard and grabbed me and held me at gunpoint. He smelled like cheap booze and his eyes were glazed over, by my guess some sort of drug. After what felt like hours, but was really only minutes, of threats and shouts to put the gun down, he was shot dead by Detective Raven Reyes. Raven, who was a childhood friend of Clarke and a good friend of mine, caught me as I slumped to the ground. She held me tight as I cried, hanging on to her with desperation I had never felt before. She kept whispering that everything would be ok, that she had me and wouldn't let anyone hurt me.

More alcohol was consumed that night at our local cop bar then I think I had ever drank before. For some reason I couldn't get a hold of Clarke and I didn't want to be alone, so Raven took me home. It was that night that the biggest mistake of my life happened. We went from her holding me and making me feel safe to naked and sweaty before passing out on the bed.

Now you would think that I would feel so guilty and remorseful of my actions that it wouldn't happen again. But I am ashamed to say that it did. I just couldn't handle being alone, I was scared and having nightmares. Raven made me feel safe and treasured, a feeling that I have only ever experienced with Clarke. Even though I slept with Raven last night, it was a saying goodbye of sorts. We talked and agreed not to tell Clarke, that it was a mistake that wouldn't happen again. My future was with Clarke and as much as Raven and I loved each other as friends we wouldn't work. Clarke was my everything and she has already been through so much pain that even though my guilt would eat me alive I couldn't hurt her more than life has already done.

You see Clarke was a victim not only once but twice by a deranged serial killer, the second time when he escaped police custody whilst being transported from jail to the courthouse. This ordeal is quite showing on her body with physical scars, which she has tried quite successfully to hide with tattoos. Her emotional scars are worse, her father who Clarke adored, cheated on her mother with a number of women. While Clarke didn't have a great relationship with her mother, she always felt that vows meant something and to break those vows is the worst sin. So after that Clarke refused to have anything to do with him, he killed himself and Clarke still struggles to this day with the guilt.

I arrive home to an empty house, I had hoped Clarke would have been home by now. I try her phone again and its still turned off. I go upstairs to have a shower and on our bed I notice three envelopes with Clarkes handwriting on it, I open the one addressed to me. My heart stops, tears forming and rolling down my face. What have I done.

Lexa

I came home early to surprise you, I had plans and a question to ask you. But I guess the jokes on me. I never thought I would be in the position I find myself in. You were my everything and I stupidly thought I was yours. I guess I was wrong. Keep the ring, sell it or throw it away I don't care I don't need it anymore. I find myself not knowing what to say, how does one say goodbye to their heart, how does one say goodbye to the future they thought they had. I don't know so here goes.

Goodbye Lexa

Clarke

Sitting on what was our bed, I texted Raven and asked her to come over. I don't know what to do, why did I do this, I have ruined everything.


	3. chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven finds out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks again to all that comment it gives me more ideas cheers M

Chapter 3

Raven

Its been playing on my mind, I cant seem to think about anything else. How do I look my best friend, whom is more like a sister to me, in the eye when she comes home. You see I have always wanted Lexa, but she never alluded to wanting more than friendship with me, even before she met Clarke. She was Clarkes girl and had been from the moment they first met. They had a love that I wanted, I was envious of.

I should have been stronger, I should have stopped her. But I was weak, I took advantage. I should have just been her friend, Clarkes friend, but I couldn't help myself. She was drunk, emotional and scared.

She was magnificent, more than I ever imagined. The way she felt under me was hypnotic and I needed more. So when she woke from nightmares and needed to not be alone I took advantage. I am a horrible person, a horrible friend. When she told me we couldn't be more, that she loved Clarke, that what we shared together was a mistake, I was heartbroken, I had tasted the forbidden fruit and I wanted more. I understood and agreed and we spent one last night together, it was perfect.

I had just arrived home when I received a text from Lexa asking me to come over, she sounded upset, I texted I was on my way. I let myself in and called out to Lexa, she replied that she was upstairs, she sounded like she had been crying. Sure enough when I walked into the room she had red puffy eyes with tears rolling down her face. She didn't say anything she just handed me an envelope with my name one it.

Raven

Why? Why Raven? She was my world, she was my everything. How could you do this. The one person who I thought had my back whom I thought I could trust with my life, just stole my heart from me. So stay away, do not speak to me, do not look for me. And if you are ever unfortunate enough to see me again, run.

Clarke

I looked up at Lexa, with tears in my eyes. "She's gone Rae, she's gone and she's never coming back" Lexa said sobbing "what are we going to do" she asked. I grabbed her, held her to me, " I don't know Lex, I don't know". I didn't know what else to say I just held her as she cried, she eventually cried herself to sleep.

I laid there holding Lexa as she slept. I am not sure where to go from here. I had ruined a lifelong friendship, the relationship between the two people I cared the most for in this world. Clarke was always there for me, I grew up in a broken home with a drug addict mother. So most of my childhood was spent at Clarkes house. Were I learnt what family was, how to look out for each other, but when trust was broken you never got that back. I was no better than Jake, I broke Clarkes trust, she will never forgive me.

I will have to see Indra in the morning, I don't know what to tell her, should I tell her the truth or not. It wont only effect me but Lexa too. I can hear the homewrecking comments already coming from the other detectives, judgemental arseholes they are. But they would be right, I just didn't want Lexa and I to hear it. I think we are harbouring enough guilt now, but I am sure Clarke would disagree, she would say we deserved that and more. She would be right.

Lexa whimpered in her sleep, I held her a little tighter and eventually drifted of to sleep myself. Hoping I would have more answers tomorrow.


	4. chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> six months have passed where are they now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for all the comments sorry for delay cheers M

Chapter 4

Clarke

Its been a emotional soul searching time for me, made me think about what I wanted in life, not only professionally but personally too. I also realised what I didn't want. I went to places I had always wanted to see but never had the time.   
I was still in contact with Indra, we spoke often and she understood why I couldn't come back. She told me Raven had left the precinct after having an all out argument with Lexa in front of everyone. I was glad that they didn't stay together, although how together they actually were I don't want to know. I can only imagine how embarrassed Lexa would feel, having her infidelity displayed for all to see. I couldn't help but feel sorry for her. I still loved her and think in some ways I always would , she was there for me and helped me through so much. Having said that I have no desire to ever be in a relationship with her, that ship sailed the moment she allowed someone else to touch what was mine. How very cave man of me I know, but she was mine and I was hers.

I'm on my way to Quantico, having accepted the offer to join the BAU. I am a little nervous but thrilled to be doing something so worthwhile. I am to meet with Special Agent Marcus Kane, he will give me the rundown and introduce me to the team. Apparently one of the team members, Octavia Blake, has a spare room I can use until I find my own place.

I finally arrive, I had stayed at a hotel last night, I didn't want to appear too unkept as I had only been camping out and washing up at truck stops since I left Boston. I will have to call mum so she can ship out my stuff she put in storage for me. Which meant I would have to do some shopping.

I park my bike grabbed my saddle bags and made my into building, signed in with a visitors badge I made my way up to the sixth floor, where I was told Special Agent Kane would be waiting for me.

Here we go. Doors open and I step out.


End file.
